Today is your birthday. I have been mentally preparing myself for this day since we stopped talking. I had thought that I won't even wish you..Then 3 days back I thought maybe I should just send you a card. Its not a big deal..Just a card it is. So I bought a real cute book card, wrote my message and posted it to your place. Then yesterday from 10 PM itself I was getting restless.. thinking about whether to call you or not..After all it will be just a call for wishing birthday. My brainstorming session finally came to halt and I decided to leave a voice note for you. Yes! That seemed okay. And my voice had never sounded so sweet as it sounded in that 58 seconds audio clip. Finally my wish had reached to you in my voice and I was more than happy for it. We had a small chat ..After a long long time what these 2 weeks seemed to me.. At last I would be able to sleep in peace tonight.
I couldn't sleep properly as I kept thinking about you entire night. So I decided to ring you up in morning.. Ofcourse only for wishing you a happy birthday. You seemed to be in hurry so I hung up real quick and went back for a little nap.
I couldn't focus on work at all..Kept thinking about doing something on your birthday. No, I wasn't expecting anything in return but as it was your first birthday since we met, I just wanted to do my part in making you smile a bit. But what could have I possibly done from here..We both are so distant.. and then Google baba came to my rescue and I found contact number of a bakery in your city and ordered a cake & a bunch of flowers to be delivered to you.
I called you up in evening and you didn't receive as usual. You called back later at night to inform that you liked the cake ..But you didn't seem as happy as I expected you to be. We continued to talk for a while and conversation took its turn to the most dreaded topic for you... US...
I hung up crying.. Thanking you for the return gift.. finally speaking up. I cried myself to sleep remembering your words.. 'it doesn't happen forcibly'..
When did I force you for anything? I have only forced you into speaking up the reality and I am glad you finally did. All this was never one sided. You have compelled me into loving you..With all those sweet nothings.. small kisses that you would give while wishing me good night.. getting jealous on knowing about my outings with guy friends and still not expressing it to me.. you have made me feel for you the way I feel now.
I started to believe in happy endings and began imagining one with you. I have spent months imagining how it would be when we will meet for the first time. How could have I been such a fool all that time? The conversation that we used to have was not that friends have.. it was more than that and even you knew that we are connecting in a different way.
But I am contented that you have finally told me that there can be no happy ending for US together. And this was indeed the best return gift that you could have given me. Freedom from hope....Hope that some day you will realize my love and want me back in your life. Thank you for setting me free.
I couldn't sleep properly as I kept thinking about you entire night. So I decided to ring you up in morning.. Ofcourse only for wishing you a happy birthday. You seemed to be in hurry so I hung up real quick and went back for a little nap.
I couldn't focus on work at all..Kept thinking about doing something on your birthday. No, I wasn't expecting anything in return but as it was your first birthday since we met, I just wanted to do my part in making you smile a bit. But what could have I possibly done from here..We both are so distant.. and then Google baba came to my rescue and I found contact number of a bakery in your city and ordered a cake & a bunch of flowers to be delivered to you.
I called you up in evening and you didn't receive as usual. You called back later at night to inform that you liked the cake ..But you didn't seem as happy as I expected you to be. We continued to talk for a while and conversation took its turn to the most dreaded topic for you... US...
I hung up crying.. Thanking you for the return gift.. finally speaking up. I cried myself to sleep remembering your words.. 'it doesn't happen forcibly'..
When did I force you for anything? I have only forced you into speaking up the reality and I am glad you finally did. All this was never one sided. You have compelled me into loving you..With all those sweet nothings.. small kisses that you would give while wishing me good night.. getting jealous on knowing about my outings with guy friends and still not expressing it to me.. you have made me feel for you the way I feel now.
I started to believe in happy endings and began imagining one with you. I have spent months imagining how it would be when we will meet for the first time. How could have I been such a fool all that time? The conversation that we used to have was not that friends have.. it was more than that and even you knew that we are connecting in a different way.
But I am contented that you have finally told me that there can be no happy ending for US together. And this was indeed the best return gift that you could have given me. Freedom from hope....Hope that some day you will realize my love and want me back in your life. Thank you for setting me free.
Again I have the same question for you !!
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