Having blocked you on Whatsapp & Facebook, still can't take you out from my thoughts.
As usual I didn't get any reply of whatever I had texted you yesterday. You didn't even call once to ask if I am doing fine. I have been crying since then.
You will never know how hard it was for me to decide this. You think I have gone out of control..but the thing is that I am in love with you..truly, madly, deeply.
You know its kind of easier to write this than talking to you; at least I won't expect a reply and won't be disappointed again and again.
I always wonder.. Do you even miss my presence in your life? Do I even mean something to you?
Why are you not in my destiny? Why don't I get the same feelings in return that I have for you? Why did you come this close to me when you never had any intention of taking it further?
Answers of these are neither with you nor with me.
It is just too hard for me to stop talking to you, but I can't do it anymore...for the sake of my sanity. I miss you terribly though.
I understand we have not known each other for a very long time; hardly 8-9 months. But falling in love with you was not accidental. It was a choice that I made... gradually.. after knowing you through each passing day.. after every conversation that we had.
First time I had fallen for someone was kind of Love at first sight. It was immature, impractical, crazy, and what not...but still it managed to break me enough, so much so that I never expected to love anyone else ever.
But then you happened to enter my life, and I had never expected that I'll fall for you without even meeting you once.
I know you have also gone through heartbreak, though you never talked about it much but I realized the intensity of your pain the first time you told me about her. So I always thought that since you are a few years older to me, you don't want to rush into things and want to give yourself sometime before thinking anything about future.
I thought may be I am acting immaturely; but I couldn't stand your indifference towards me. I had always been honest with you and so I confessed my feelings without waiting for you to take an initiative. Was that my fault?
That I took an initiative so that we could stay happily together...
But your ignorance has hurt me deeply. Why don't you understand anything? I am just a simple girl who wanted the same love in return that I had been showering upon you. And if you couldn't do that, you could have just told me to get lost. But you chose yet again to remain silent. That's the easiest thing to do for you. Isn't it?
Now I am finding faults in you, so that I could hate you a bit and stop thinking about you 24*7. I keep on trying to figure out reasons why this relationship that I always wanted would have never been successful. And that all this has happened for good.
But then I happen to think about your smile and all bad things that I have collected about you get vanished in a couple of seconds.
I want to talk to you so badly right now. I want to tease you, make fun of you and ask you stupid questions. Why don't I deserve your love?
People say that first Love is unforgettable and it makes one strong. Very correct.
But they never told that second love is so fatal and it makes one this weak & vulnerable.
The worst part is that I have no one to share this situation that I am going through. No one who is close to me has any idea about this turmoil going on in my life. I am completely alone and all I need is you.
I just hope that you might be missing me too...not necessarily in the same way as I do.. but in some way.. you might miss me some day too..
As usual I didn't get any reply of whatever I had texted you yesterday. You didn't even call once to ask if I am doing fine. I have been crying since then.
You will never know how hard it was for me to decide this. You think I have gone out of control..but the thing is that I am in love with you..truly, madly, deeply.
You know its kind of easier to write this than talking to you; at least I won't expect a reply and won't be disappointed again and again.
I always wonder.. Do you even miss my presence in your life? Do I even mean something to you?
Why are you not in my destiny? Why don't I get the same feelings in return that I have for you? Why did you come this close to me when you never had any intention of taking it further?
Answers of these are neither with you nor with me.
It is just too hard for me to stop talking to you, but I can't do it anymore...for the sake of my sanity. I miss you terribly though.
I understand we have not known each other for a very long time; hardly 8-9 months. But falling in love with you was not accidental. It was a choice that I made... gradually.. after knowing you through each passing day.. after every conversation that we had.
First time I had fallen for someone was kind of Love at first sight. It was immature, impractical, crazy, and what not...but still it managed to break me enough, so much so that I never expected to love anyone else ever.
But then you happened to enter my life, and I had never expected that I'll fall for you without even meeting you once.
I know you have also gone through heartbreak, though you never talked about it much but I realized the intensity of your pain the first time you told me about her. So I always thought that since you are a few years older to me, you don't want to rush into things and want to give yourself sometime before thinking anything about future.
I thought may be I am acting immaturely; but I couldn't stand your indifference towards me. I had always been honest with you and so I confessed my feelings without waiting for you to take an initiative. Was that my fault?
That I took an initiative so that we could stay happily together...
But your ignorance has hurt me deeply. Why don't you understand anything? I am just a simple girl who wanted the same love in return that I had been showering upon you. And if you couldn't do that, you could have just told me to get lost. But you chose yet again to remain silent. That's the easiest thing to do for you. Isn't it?
Now I am finding faults in you, so that I could hate you a bit and stop thinking about you 24*7. I keep on trying to figure out reasons why this relationship that I always wanted would have never been successful. And that all this has happened for good.
But then I happen to think about your smile and all bad things that I have collected about you get vanished in a couple of seconds.
I want to talk to you so badly right now. I want to tease you, make fun of you and ask you stupid questions. Why don't I deserve your love?
People say that first Love is unforgettable and it makes one strong. Very correct.
But they never told that second love is so fatal and it makes one this weak & vulnerable.
The worst part is that I have no one to share this situation that I am going through. No one who is close to me has any idea about this turmoil going on in my life. I am completely alone and all I need is you.
I just hope that you might be missing me too...not necessarily in the same way as I do.. but in some way.. you might miss me some day too..
Well written....
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